Dick sat with Jane in the Jezebel Garden one morning sipping jizzum tea. The camery trees and commodore flowers swayed in the breeze. Only the russelling of the cheezal packets dancing in the wind disturbed the silence.
Dick had been pretending to be a goat and was head butting Jane’s pet turtle.
“Stop it Dick, you’ll hurt Mr Weasel Bottom.” Jane cried, but Dick continued to act like a complete knob and ram the poor shelled critter.
Then out on nowhere strode a big hairy man dressed in G-string and shearers singlet. He had a distinguishing tattoo of a mouse with a wooden leg on his chest.
The hairy man was shocked by what Dick was doing to Mr Weasel Bottom, so he shot them both with a gun that he concealed in his G-string.
Jane was horrified and screamed at the hairy man, “What have you done Hairy Man? You have killed Dick and Mr Weasel Bottom! By the way would you like a cup of jizzum tea?”
“Don’t mind if I do. Might I say Miss, but you have a head like a shaggy ferret.”
“Why thankyou Hair Man. And may I say you are charming. Let us sit and listen to the horned chuckle bird whistle while we drink our tea.”
Did you know that it is impossible to look cool in a French style cafe with a right eye that looks like the bottom of a Japanese Snow Monkey with irritable bowel syndrome that has been used for “after game celebrations” by the Canterbury-Bankstown AFL team?